Something is going on. Things have been a little hinky since we moved in. It's really been apparent to me this latest run. He's been even more distant over the phone, his temper has been a little shorter and we actually had our first disagreement. Actually that was more of me having a breakdown and him getting pretty short with me. But still, it has been different between us and I don't like it one bit.
Tonight was the first time in over a year that we didn't talk on the phone at least once. I got a text from him around 9-ish saying that he had a shitty day and was going to bed. I replied that if he wanted to unload or vent to give me a call. No response.
I curled up on the couch and watched my shows and then my brain starting going off on tangents. I am so worked up right now that I feel like I'm going to throw up. I need to talk to someone and the one person that I know would still be awake is Spitz. Sent him a text and he's got a friend over. Of course I immediately think that he's avoiding me and he knows something about me and SC. His loyalty would obviously be with SC and I wouldn't hold that against him.
I have turned into that clingy, whiny little girl that I detest. What has happened to me? He's a little distant and doesn't call me one night and I immediately assume the worst? I need to get back into fucking therapy because it isn't all about me!! When did I turn into this selfish bitch that thinks the world revolves around her? That isn't me!
If SC had ANY doubts or concerns about us getting this house together, he would've voiced them and not let it get this far.
If I did something to upset him, he isn't going to kick me out. Damn you JD for doing this to me! I hate what you have done to me. I can't believe that the first thing I worry about is being asked to move out. I have too much invested in this relationship to let your old tricks work on me. I am a better person than that and you know it.
No comments:
Post a Comment